


Saving Bob

by YellowPencils



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-30 01:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15086396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowPencils/pseuds/YellowPencils
Summary: Bob gets tired of being killed off in fanfics.





	Saving Bob

"What's the matter with Bob?" Vera asked, peering into his bowl.

"He's depressed," replied Joan.

Vera scrunched up her nose as she continued to watch the listless fish.

"Why?"

"People keep killing him."

"Who does?"

"Fanfic writers."

"Oh. _Those_ people."

"I know. I just don't understand why they're so interested in us."

Vera looked over at Joan, who was currently clad in a very short black satin robe, tied loosely so a large amount of each breast could be seen.

"I think I know," the small woman licked her lips provocatively.

"Actually, so do I," Joan replied as she took another look at Vera, who had borrowed her work shirt, which she had fastened by two of the middle buttons only.

"What are we going to do about Bob?" Vera asked, blatently eyeing Joan's cleavage, "Maybe he needs some company?"

"I'm not sure, Vera. Those sex-obsessed writers will probably kill them off, as well. Or turn Bob into some kind of sex-maniac."

"And he just wants a quiet life. And, you know, an alive one."

"Exactly. Maybe we should hide him."

"Where?"

"Good point. There's nowhere those nosy bastards won't go in their quest for plots."

"True. We'll just have to distract them, I suppose."

"And how do you suggest we do that, exactly?" Joan purred, moving closer to her companion.

"Actually, I was thinking of cooking a chicken? Making origami? Fiddling on your violin?"

"Those had better be euphemisms, or this fic is over!"

"They weren't meant to be, but now you mention it, that would be a distraction. Bob lives and we get to fuck again."

"Ha."

"Don't 'ha' me! Go get your leather gloves!"

"You want to do it here? Where Bob can see? Or do you just enjoy being watched?"

"Of course I do. Anyway, we'll be able to keep an eye on him. Make sure nothing happens to him."

"Okay, but he's not sharing our bed. Or baths."

"Fine. We just need to tire the writers out. Distract them from Bob-murdering long enough to cheer him up."

"How long will that take?"

"No idea. But I'm up for it if you are."

"Challenge accepTed, Vera. Now, I'll get my gloves, you get that shirt off. It covers too much."

"Honestly, I hope this works. Like we've got nothing better to do. Like, you know, running a prison."

"Tell me about it. I have morally-ambiguous deeds to plan. It's like the writers want us to do nothing but have sex. I'm _exhausted!"_

"I'd kill for a night in with cup of hot chocolate and a box set!"

"Is that another euphemism, my dirty little deputy?"

"You wish. Now shut up and let's do this. For Bob."

"Yes, _for Bob_. No other reason."

"Definitely not. Although you do have fantastic tits."

"Don't tell! Show! We're distracting them, remember!"

"Oops, I forgot. Where were we?"

"About to have a good fuck. For Bob"

"Oh yes. We're so selfless, aren't we?"

"Definitely. I'm not enjoying this at all."

"Me neither. Bob had better appreciate this."

"I'm sure he is. Look, he's watching us!"

"So he is! He's as bad as those writers!"

"You don't think...he could be... _one of them_...do you?"

"Of course not. Although, if this happens to end up on that website they all use..."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Although he does look very interested in where your hand is right now."

"Ha. So I am. Now be quiet and let me bend you over the table."

"Ooh. Anytime, Joan. Anytime."


End file.
